Of All Those Years
by every username is usually take
Summary: Merlin has spent the past 1,500 years in isolation almost from the rest of the world until the death of a loved one causes him to go back out to retry and become a member of society while waiting for Arthur return. What does he do in that time? Why, he teaches at Hogwarts of course! What kind of shenanigans will the Potter gang get into with the most powerful warlock as a teacher?
1. Prologue

A/N: So, i just finished Merlin a couple months ago and love the idea of the Harry Potter world crossing over as they both are worlds focused on magic. I couldn't ever find the one I wanted, so, here it is. This is my first ever fanfic so constructive criticism is very much appreciated, along with any spelling or grammatical errors I missed. And or ideas on how to proceed with the story. I will update as often as I can, but being a massive procrastination, updates may not be very faithful or common. I have every intent to finish this fanfic. I will also publish this fanfic to ao3 and Wattpad.

Thanks and I hope you enjoy. :)

Don't own Merlin or Harry Potter

Late July, 1995

1,500 years. 1,500 years, and counting, had passed since his death. 1,500 long years full of self pity, regret, guilt, and depression. 1,500 long years of slowly forgetting more and more about his friends in Camelot. His last tie to Camelot was dying in his arms. Aithusa had contracted a fatal disease and had been dying slowly for the past few months. She was the last Noble Dragon, the last one to ever be born and to die. She had been his friend and his only source of comfort during those years, the only one to understand him.

"M-merlin….," she breathed out, "...please ...once I pass on….."

"NO!," he cried out in reply, "You won't die, you can't!" he continued to mumble incoherent words with eyes wide in panic.

"Please Merlin….. Nothing can live forever…." she said, attempting to calm him in his hysteria. "I want you to try and go out into the world…... make some new friends and meet new people…" she exhaled while looking up.

"No! I won't, you will live and I-" he was cut shot by another one of her coughs. He could only watch as she faded away.

"Merlin, you are a kind person……..go….." she was struggling to speak even more now . His panic and hysteria rise higher, mumbling mantras to convince him that what was happening was not real.

"Go, Emrys. Go and await your king….."

She stopped breathing. Her eyes were glazed over. Her frail body went limp. The white dragon whose name meant "light of the sun" would never soar the skies again, letting out magnificent roars to be heard from all the creatures around to cower and fear the beast. The one magnificent, pure white dragon now lay dead, in her deformed and withered body, laying against her dragon lord. A dragon lord with no more dragons to command was a pitiful sight to any. The last dragon lord, Emrys, Merlin, wailed over the dead body of his last friend. Heaving sobs, screams of hate out for nothing but the forest creatures to hear, desperately calling for another dragon to save her. She was the last of her kind. There was no other who could understand his language.

The screams and cries lowered into small whimpers after days of wailing. By the time he had finally stopped, her body was cold and siff. The smell of death caked over them. Merlin found a quiet place to lay the last of the nobel breed. A quiet, beautiful, lush lakeside with a mountain overhead. On top of the mound of dirt lay a simple but elegant quartz statue of a beautiful white dragon, perched on top of a rock, looking over the lake with gentle eyes that were full of kindness. An enchantment lay on the area, keeping it safe from any harm done by man or animals.

Merlin felt numb all over, emotionally, mentally, and physically. He would respect her last wish for him to reintegrate back into society and try to start a new life. He had watched much of the improvements humanity had made through the Crystal of Neahtid so nothing would be to overwhelming. Though he would not enjoy it in the least, he would respect and honor her memory by doing so. Spending a few more days to mourn he finally decided to go. He packed his few belongings and left enchanted are in which they stayed in, looking back one more time, he felt the dragons body pushing him to go. "Alright, alright, I'm leaving." he whispered to himself, taking one last look at the gentle eyes of the statue that seemed to be telling him everything will work out, he left. He left behind the buried corpse of his friend for those 1,500 years and walked out to a new life carrying the weight of the guilt he felt from what caused him to live those years. The guilt that would forever follow him now until his king was brought back to him from the dead.


	2. Chapter 1 (Harry)

Life at Hogwarts was not easy in any way. Especially if you are the 'Chosen One' and held a distinct scar on your forehead that let everyone know that you were different. Even more when trouble always finds you and your friends forcing you all to juggle school with defeating subordinates and the Dark Lord Voldemont himself almost every year. It causes one to be anxious all the time for what was going to come the following years and stress over the littlest of things. While having book smart Hermione on his side did help, he did still struggle with school and getting things done.

At this point, trouble found him even over the summer, when he was much further away from Hogwarts than the rest of the year. Being attacked by the dementors, finding out about the Order of the Phoenix, and having the Hearing were things that had happened already this year and he was not ready to see what was going to happen this year. Nightmares were now a common thing he had gotten used to, abuse of his Aunt and Uncle, fighting Quirl in his first year, fighting a Basilisk in his second year, dealing with dementors and trying to free his godfather AND having to defend himself from a werewolf, being forced to partake in the Triwizard Tournament , and seeing his new friend be killed in an instant followed by discovering that the Professor he trusted was another one of Voldemort's followers all added up into the forms of having a constant anxiety and probably forms of PTSD. Facing death every year since his first at Hogwarts made him second guess its safety and if Dumbledore really cared about him. Putting all that aside, he now faced a new year at Hogwarts, the start of all his problems and place where most of his issues would either be resolved or be created.

He stared out the train window while Ginny, Neville, Ron, and Hermione chatted with each other while Luna read her Quibbler. Finally getting off the train and the carriages, they walked through the entrance and into the fimiar Great Hall for the feast. Walking by, Harry could hear the whispers of the other students. He grit his teeth and proceeded onto where the rest had sat along with the other Gryffindors, when he looked up at the staff table and noticed three things. 1) Hagrid sitting in his usual place, 2) the new teacher and 3) an empty seat where Professor Bins used to sit.

"Who do you think is going to teach DADA this year?" Hermonie wondered out loud.

Harry, however hearing her was not concerned about that. He was far more concerned about who one of the teachers was.

"It's that Umbridge lady who works for Fudge!" he exclaimed recognizing her toad like face.

"What! Was she at your hearing?" asked the now also concerned Hermonie.

"Yeah, she was…." Harry trailed off as the new first years walked through the doors along with Professor McGonagall and the Sorting Hat.

One could smell the fear and anxiety of being in a line waiting to be sorted into their house. After all, everyone at the school had been there at one point. After setting the hat on the stool the entire Great Hall became silent waiting for the hat to sing. It then broke out into its song:

Of all the tales of old,

One sticks out the most.

It's the tale of unrequited love.

A wizard fell for the one he was to protect

He gave all he had,

But noone to understand.

Now that one that he loved,

Fell for another and soon would be doomed.

The one that he loved,

Had failed to achieve

The world they were to create.

That poor beloved one soon died,

In the arms of the wizard who loved one so.

The wizard was cursed with immortality,

And to live forever alone.

Another tale that is often told,

Is the tale of the four founders,

Who began the school.

They came upon the lake,

And knew what to do.

Building a school for wise to teach the new.

Courageous Godric Gryffindor,

Taught the strong and the brave.

Intelligent Rowena Ravenclaw,

Wanted the smart and bright.

Cunning Salazar Slytherin,

Favored the sly and pure.

Kind Helga Hufflepuff,

Taught the whole rest.

Though I am old and ragged,

I place where I think you best fit.

There are dark shadows that are cast upon the future,

A darkness rises within these walls,

And death will ensure that one will fall.

The only way to beat this evil,

Is to combine the powers of all.

Now that you know the tales,

It is time for the sorting to begin.

The hall was quickly filled with applause. One glance at Hermione told him and Ron that she was going to figure out who this 'wizard' was. Harry was far more concerned with the new threat of something new brewing within the school. Great, something new to worry about….he thought.

"Blimey mate. I'm getting pretty hungry." Ron muttered to Harry, grabbing his attention.

"Same." he muttered back.

As the sorting went on, each house applauded for their new members. The line soon died down to the last few new first years and once they were sorted, Dumbledore finally spoke. Standing up from his chair and raising his arms in a welcoming, open way with his bright smile and twinkelling he began.

"Welcome to those who are new and those have returned!" A few groans could be heard from the tabes from people expecting a long drawn out speech. Chuckling he continued, "The time for speech is later, first we shall fill our stomachs with food from our long journey. Let us eat!"

As he spoke the last few words, the food began to appear on the tables only to be quickly grabbed by hungry children. Hungry as Harry felt, he did not eat much. Even if he could eat as much as he could, being so used to eating in small portions his stomach would not allow more than the usual amount. Ron however was cramming his mouth full of who knows what. Watching him attempt to talk to Nearly Headless Nick was revolting as it was funny. Though soon, as the chatter began to rise up again due to the students finishing their meal, Dumbledore rose out of his seat once again. The talking quickly ceased and all focus was on the Headmaster again.

"Now that our bellies are full of food from this feast, I would like to welcome the First-year and give some terms-of-notice."

When Dumbledor began his speech, Harry couldn't help but feel tired and drowsy. It had been a long while since sleeping on those soft, cusheny, dorm beds and the delicious food he had eaten was far better than what he was able to eat anywhere else. Then a loud bang filled the air causing the hall to be silent in an instant. The Great Hall doors were slammed open by someone who, rushing in, had their mouth overflowing with apologies.

"I am so, so, so, sorry! I completely forgot it was today!" a voice half shouted.

"No, it is fine. " Dumbledore chulkeled.

"No! It's not alright!" the voice protested.

"Just get up here and stop apologizing."

Whoever this man was, was a complete mystery to all. A figure with a cloak rushed up to the staff table, found an empty seat, and sat down. Snape, of course gave the person a nasty look along with the Unbrigde lady, while all the other Professors held expressions of surprise and laughter.

"You may take off your cloak, if you wish. I doubt that there would be any major storm inside the building." Dumbledore mentioned to the apparent new staff member.

"Oh! Sorry I was in such a rush that I didn't even realize. I--" the figure was cut short as Dumbledor raised his hand. Soon, everyone got what they wanted, a look at the mysterious figure.

The figure was, as everyone noticed, a man. The man was a gangly looking thing, with boney limbs. The clothing of choice was simple, a blue shirt with an old leather jacket, old faded out brown pants, and a neckerchief around his neck that made him look even skinnier than he already did . He had very dark black hair that seemed to be combed in a hurry. As he turned back around, they all focused on one thing, his eyes. His eyes had a simple color, cobalt blue, but they heald wizzdom far beyond years. He looked to be no more that his late 30's, but his eyes had the intelligence of one who had lived for hundreds of years. His cheeks were noticeably flushed from embarrassment as he placed his cloak on the back of the chair. Sitting down rather harshly he sat and waited patiently for Dumbledor to finish his speech.

"Oh bloody hell," Ron muttered, "there's a new someone who all the girls will be wooing."

Harry could not help but agree with Ron, "He's seems to be quite the looker to them."

Surveying the area, most, if not all the girls were already eyeing him. Even Hermione was looking.

"Monie!" Ron tired to get her attention.

"Wa," she said, distracted.

"Oh great! Not you too!" he growled angrily. The short conversation was cut by Dumbledore starting up his speech again.

"Now, as many of the older students may have noticed, the Keeper of the Keys, here at Hogwarts is not currently here. His class will now be taught by Professor Grubby-Plant, who is now returning. The new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor is, as I am delighted to say, Professor Umbridge. I am most delighted to say that there is a new History of Magic Professor after all these years, Professor Aldridge."

The round of applause was not as enthusiastic as there was another DADA Professor, but the new History of Magic was a shock. Even a few members of the staff was unsure on how to take this news. Professor Bins was the History Professor for years and years. Why would he give up the class to someone else? The now named Professor Aldridge seemed to shrink back into his chair and flushed even brighter at his name being mentioned.

Dumbledore started to continue before he looked over. His eyes were on Umbridge. A small 'hem hem' came out of her mouth before she started rise and make her way over by Dumbledor to start speaking. It was clear as day that they were about to get a speech from the new Professor.

"Well, thank you very much, Headmaster, for those words of welcome."

Her voice was high pitched and rather girlish, making it very hard for Harry to not get a headache. Everyone in the hall felt a great rush of dislike for the new Professor. Even the new History Professor seemed to have some sort of dislike for her.

"As lovely as it is to be back at Hogwarts, I would say it is far more lovely to see all the happy faces looking at me and how excited I am to all be friends!. " Of course, no one was smiling at all, other than Umbridge. She spoke to them like they were all 4 or 5 years old and they were on the brink of all out laughter.

"The Ministry of Magic has always put an effort to make sure the education of young wizards and witches as one of their main priorities. We acknowledge all the Professors of now and of previous times have done for the youth." She gave a quick nod the staff holding a deathly strong glare that did not match her voice at at.

"The Headmaster of the school always brings something to offer to the students. Some of these things are now old and worn out. Let us allow change to happen and welcome it to with wide and open arms." She finished her speech simply.

After a few more announcements from Dumbledore, he dismissed the students from the hall. Ron and Hermonie took the new first-years to the dorms leaving Harry alone again to his thoughts. He felt a little anxious being alone in a very crowded place without his friends. Walking relatively slowly down the halls, he saw the new History of Magic Professor looking a bit lost.

"Um, hey. Do you know the way to the History of Magic classroom is?" the Professor asked. His posture was slightly slumped like he was not trying to draw any attention to himself.

"Oh, yeah. I can, Professor….."

"Aldridge."

Walking down the halls Harry noticed something about the new professor. He didn't once every try to look at his scar or ask him questions about anything in particular. Just comfortable silence walking to the classroom. As they approached the doors the Professor finally said something.

"Harry," the sudden voice of the Professors startled him "I know that you have been through a lot, but make sure you talk to someone about things."

"What?" Harry was very confused. Why would someone who he has never even heard of be giving him advice. What would he know about the things he went through. Before he could get another word out, Professor Aldridge had vanished into the classroom. Deciding it was far too late to stay up any longer, Harry left his thoughts there and walked to his dorms to finally get some much needed sleep.


	3. Chapter 2 (Merlin)

August 1, 1995

Dear Albus Dumbledore,

I have heard much about the school of yours. Hogwarts is the name I presume if my memory serves me correct. I am known as Mathew Aldrige. You may not have heard much about me nor my family due to the fact that I was homeschooled. Upon the most recent years, I have heard many rumours of a cursed job at your school. I know not whether this is true, but due to the most recent scandals The Daily Prophet has been spouting, it is easy to assume that it would be harder for one to employ for job openings.

As of now, I am offering my abilities to the school. Though am homeschooled, there has always been a love to share my knowledge. Although young, I am competent in history, in potion making and herbology, and any form of defence. I hope that if not now, there will be a place or opportunity soon and that you keep me in mind.

Sincerely,

Mathew Aldrige

August 9, 1995

Dear, Mr. Aldrige,

I am pleasantly surprised to find be asked for a job from one so elaborately diverse in many subjects. I am also glad that rumours don't scare you off from wanting to do what you love. Being young does not dwindle and intelligent brain. As of now, that 'cursed' job has been taken by a Ministry official, but there is a sudden opening in History of Magic. I would greatly appreciate meeting you in person, Aldrige. If possible, could you come by the school in a weeks time at noon? I will send someone to meet you at the train station in London. If there are any issues, send an owl.

Yours Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

Hogwarts Headmaster

Rereading the letter one last time, Merlin glanced out of the window of his house with a sigh. The non-magical folks had come such a far way without magic or any help from magic users. Not to mention that many wizards and witches remain ignorant to all of the things they have done. If he had not failed in creating that world with Arthur, then things would have been drastically different from now. Magic users would no longer have to hide their abilities and would be able to help others. He knew that there would have to be restrictions, laws and regulations, and plenty of new discrimintation, but they would be able to practice magic. Deciding to not fall down the rabbit hole of depression and guilt again, he grabbed his things and left to go meet the Headmaster.

The day was a relatively chilly summer day in Scotland. After leaving Athusia by the hidden lake, he quickly realized he had to relearn how to socialize with other humans. While he knew how to operate all of the latest technology, he could not, for the life of him, talk to someone and ask for directions. Because of that, he decided to live in a very small village deep within the Northern Highlands. Taking the form of a man in his late 30's, he slowly got to know the locals and made friends with them. They were friendly to him and understanding that he preferred to be alone. Going by the name Mathew Aldridge, he created a new identity using magic of course and made a backstory.

Mathew Aldrige was born on December 24, 1958. His appearance was simple black haired with blue eyes and a lanky body that went along with his pale skin. He ran away from the abusive orphanage he was in. Having no family, he lived on the streets, having a mild form of autism made it harder to live in a crowded area. He eventually was adopted by a lady named Hunith Aldrige, who happened to be visiting the city, took him in and home schooled him. He was able to get a job as a manager in a small business. The business was only about an hour and a half drive from the village he was moving to. He decided to finally move away when Hunith passed away of lung cancer. With that kind of backstory made it easy for people to not ask to many questions. Which was what he was going for, a backstory that would not provoke any questions or suspicions.

Walking down the sidewalk he saw a small group of children playing. They stopped playing, looked up, and ran over filling with excitement. The children who lived in the village loved hearing his stories and loved the treats he would carry with him. One of the supervising parents took notice of him and called him over.

"Oi! Mathew!"

"Hello John!" Merlin called back noticing him and walking over to the other parents.

"Why, Mathew!" one of the mothers exclaimed taking notice to his suitcase, "Where the heavens are you going to?"

"Well, I have some personal business elsewhere, and will not be returning for at least a year." he spoke with some reluctance. Just vanishing would be a better option, but that in turn would raise some questions if he ever returned.

"What! Mat, you just got here!" John was the closest to him out of the parents. He was a widower, his wife having passed soon before Merlin arrived.

"I'm sorry everyone," Merlin hated leaving these people behind and lying to them about where he was going, "I truly wish I could stay, but-" He was cut by sighs from John and a few other parents.

"Just go, Mathew. We understand that you have things to do, the children will be broken hearted, but, just, stay safe." John sadly said. He had found someone he could confide in only for that person to leave so soon.

"I'll tell the children." He quickly said and walked away over to the children, scared to see their saddened faces.

"Mr. Sir! Do you have any more candy?" a young by called out when he sat down with them, only to be kicked in the shin by a girl about the same age.

"Don't ask for candy now! Ask for it after he tells the story!" she replied angrily and quickly turned her attention to him. "You will tell us a story, right?"

"Yes, I am going to tell you a story." Merlin said with a bit of sadness in his voice. He was going to miss them even after only knowing them for a few months. They reminded him of when he was young, full of hope for the next day and excitement for what was to come. "But pay attention, because I'm going to leave soon."

"Why?" she simply asked.

"Because I am not meant to stay in one place for too long."

"Will you remember us?" This time a different child spoke. He was clearly worried about being forgotten.

"How could I ever forget you bunch!" Merlin exclaimed. The children helped remind him of the youth that still had a chance to make a difference in the world and could do great things.

All the children seemed satisfied with his answer and proceed to pester him on and on about telling another story.

"Tell the one about the dragon!"

"No! The one about the prince!"

"The one about the king and his evil rule!"

They went on and on about other of their favorite stories he told them. Each wanting their favorite when he finally decided on one of the stories.

"Ok, ok. I've decided." he said and the group went silent awaiting for his choice of the many stories he told them. "I will tell you a new story," all their eyes were trained on him.

"Now this story is about a young boy. This boy grew up with only a kind mother and loved him very much. He grew up in a small farming village and played with the other children. But, he was different from the rest. He had something that others would work for years and still never be able to do what he could. He had magic, he could make things float in the air before he could talk.

"For him, life was hard. The people in the village didn't like magic, They thought it made people evil and would cast anyone with it out into the dark woods to be eaten by the creatures that roamed there.

He had now fully capitated the children. "Did he get eaten?" asked the girl.

"No, then the story would be unfinished. The boy was good at keeping secrets so he hid his magic from everyone in fear of being cast away. He slowly stopped playing with the other children in fear of being found out and played in the woods instead. One day, one of the village boys found him using his magic. Instead of telling the others, he decided to keep his secret. The two of them soon became the best of friends and would stand up for each other."

The parents watching on saw something the children didn't. This was no story, it was a part of his childhood just with a fantasy flare to it. They soon found themselves listing in with great attention. Mathews words capticated them all. He had the air of a wise old wizard surrounding him. Like he was giving them advice on what not to do.

"As the boy grew up, it slowly became harder to hide his magic. The magic wanted to be used and help others, rather than be hidden. It would burst out in sudden small explosions. This caused the village people to be rather suspicious.

"His mother became increasingly concerned and sent him away to a large kingdom where she knew a friend who could help teach him how to control his powers. So when he reached 18, he would make the journey to that friend.

"Where he was going was where using magic was punishable by death. While it seemed to not be the best idea where he was being sent, that friend was able to help teach him how to control his magic and use it for good.

"Now, in that place where he was being sent, there was a prince. That prince was a argant one who only thought of himself, was what the wizard thought. As time went on, the wizard continues to hide his magic, but two became close friends and would put themselves in the way of harm to protect the other.

"Along the way, they faced many challenges and meet new people. Until the prince became the king and had to fight in a war to protect the kingdom. The wizard had heard of a prophecy of his king dying in that war and did everything he could to prevent it. He sadly failed and his king died in his arms.

"That king was supposed to create a world where both the non-magical and magical could live together in peace. Due to his failure, the wizard was forced to live an immortal life until his king would rise again to change the world."

Finishing his story, he gave the children a small chocolate to distract them. He looked back to the parents, one look in their eyes told him that they had figured it out, it was part of his story. Giving them a small sad smile, he picked up his suitcase and continued to walk until he reached the train station. While getting on the train, he took one last look at the small village as the train started moving.

The train ride was not too bad. The constant stopping was getting on his nerves and made the ride much longer than what it could have been, almost deciding it would be better to transport himself using magic. The thought quickly left. After Arthur had passed, whenever he used his magic, it would never feel right, like something had been stripped away from him.

As the ride droned on, he began to doze off. He dreamt of Arthur and Camelot. They were together with the other knights, riding out to save the kingdom once again. He felt happy. Then Mordred appeared and stabbed Arthur. Gwains, Percivals, Elyans, Leons, and Lancelot's corpses were all lying dead behind him. They were all blodieded and mauled as if they had been attacked and half eaten by a ferocious creature. He could almost taste the blood and could hear the clang of metal. Gwen was screaming at him to save her husband while Mordred was laughing. Athusia swooped down and grabbed Gwen tossing her in the air. She fell down on a spear, it impaled her neck. Blood flowed freely from her wound and out her mouth. Her eyes were glassed over and held the fear of death in them. All the while, Arthur was calling out to him, "Help them," he cried, "help them, SAVE THEM!" His plea quickly turned into a scream. Arthur now on the ground crawling to him was screaming at him to save the others. Merlin couldn't move, he was on his knees, shaking but no sound nor tears escaped him. Arthur was now close enough so that he could grab Merlin. They both stared at each other for a split second in silence, all of the sound being drowned out by that stare. "You. Failed." Arthur said with absolute disgust in his voice.

Merlin woke to the train stopping and the announcement that his stop had been reached. Though he didn't know at first. He thought he was still in the dream and was about to finally cry out when he realized where he was. He was on a train, he was going to a school for witches and wizards to learn how to control their magic called Hogwarts, and he was going to have an interview and teach them himself. Swift getting off the train, a grey and black tabby cat was staring at him with intense eyes. An animagus, he thought and walked over to where the cat was. The cat started walking towards him and as soon as they passed each other, he felt a hand on his arm and they both apparated.

They reappeared at a different train station that was located deep within the woods. The cat, now woman had a stern, but kind look to her face. She was tall and her gray hair was tied up into a neat tight bun.

"I am the Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall." she spoke with a tone that said 'let's get going'.

"I'm-"

"I know who you are, Mr. Aldrige. If you may, let us hurry up to the Headmasters office as we do not want to be late." she gestured toward a carriage.

The carriage was being driven by black horse like creatures. They looked to be just skin and bones and had large wings. He stared at them while they stared back. McGonagall took notice him staring at the creatures.

"Those are thestals, they pull the carriages here." she said climbing into the carriage, "They can only be seen by people who have seen death." she added looking at him with a glint of suspicion in his eyes.

"Oh." was all he could say climbing in after her.

The rest of the ride to the caste was quite, other than for the sound of the thestals making their was through the forest. He could feel all the magical creatures that roamed throughout the forest. It was quite peaceful to him, to others, the feeling of the creatures surrounding you would bring a feeling of unease. Approaching the school, Merlin could not believe that it was a massive castle. He could feel large amounts of magic flowing out of it. Getting closer to the main entrance the carriage stopped and both exited.

Following McGonagall and walking through the school, Merlin couldn't help but feel nostalgic. He had not been in a castle in many years and walking through one now reminded him of his years spent in Camelot. Walking for a few more minutes, they finally came upon a golden statue.

"Lemon Drop." she spoke. Then the statue began to spin upwards and revealed stairs. Once the spinning stopped, they both walked up until they reached the top.

"Ah, Mr. Aldridge. I have been expecting you." said an old man sitting at the deskin the center of the room. "I am Albus Dumbledore." The man smiled and gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. "Let us talk about a job for you this school year, shall we?"


	4. Chapter 3 (Harry)

Flashing images haunted Harry while he slept. His Uncle and Aunt shouting at him that he was worthless, Professor Quirl trying to kill him, Lockheart attempting to obliviate Harry and Ron and take all the glory, nearly killing his beloved godfather before he understood what was going on, being hunted with the intent of being killed during the Triwizard Tournament, and watching not only Cedric die, but also watching the rebirth of Voldemort. All these things would flash before him. Then Dumbledore would approach him and pause the images. He would try to crawl to him, seeking comfort only to be kicked away.

"You could have done more, Harry." Dumbledore said looking straight ahead, not even attempting to look at the pathetic excuse of a wizard he was. "You could have prevented what happened to so many people. You are one of the great wizards and was able to defeat Voldemort as a mere infant."

Harry started to tremble. Dumbledore was right, he should have done more. It did not matter that he was only a teen. He had to do more than what was already done, but he couldn't. Why could he no longer do the things he needed to do?

"It's because, Harry," Dumbledore said seeming to read his mind, "you are simply a failure. You can't protect a friend from someone you have defeated before. You nearly got your only family member that hated you killed. You caused the Basilisk to roam free and allowed your friends to get hurt while others lived in fear. You failed to save the stone, as simple as it was."

Harry began to space out into a world of self pity while Dumbledore spoke of all his fault. Kicking him occasionally and telling him to stop crying because he couldn't show any negative emotions. He was the 'chosen one', he could not live in fear of what was to come. He had to be preparing for Voldemort's comeback in the world and to save it one again.

"You killed, Harry." Dumbledore said suddenly.

"Huh?" Harry was confused.

"You killed one of your Professors. You are no better than the scum that crawls in the sewers."

"I-I-I didn't mean to! He was going to kill me first if I hadn't!" Harry cried out, but it was already too late. He was no longer being surrounded by his different failures. Insted, he was back in the room with Quirl and the Mirror of Erised.

As familiar as the room was, he caught a glimpse of him in the mirror. It was him, but didn't look like him. The person staring back at him was laughing. He had the corpses of his friends surrounding him. The person staring back at him was not him at all, it was a monster. Quirl had tacked him out of nowhere and had both of his hands wrapped tightly around his neck. Harry. Could. Not. Breathe. He was choking.

In a bling fury of panic, he started to claw at Quirl's face. He watched in horror as the face began to mutate to different people he loved and each of their faces were blistering away as he touched it. The faces began to scream out in pain and anger. Harry grabbed its throat and it let go of his. He was not on top of the blistering creature as it struggled to breathe as he just had. Harry felt a cold flash of satisfaction to get revenge for what it had done to him. Watch it whither in fear and struggle to breathe as he controlled whether it survived or not. It was a sense of power and control Harry did not feel in his day to day life. As soon as those feelings had taken over, a new set of thoughts tore away at his emotions. He was a monster. He felt good when he held power and control over others. He wanted them ALL to suffer as he had. He was sad, jealous, angry, and remorseful all at the same time. Harry began to cry over the body he was still strangeling.

"See," said Dumbledore reappearing, "You killed one of your Professors in cold blood and you want to do it again."

"No! I don't! I don't! I don't!" he cried again and again. WHY IS HE DOING THIS? WHY CAN'T I STOP! …. Do I even want to to stop? His thoughts grew muddled as the room reset itself to replay what happened. Panic set in and the anxiety of doing it again washed over him. He couldn't breathe, just like when he was being strangled. But this time, noone was where with their hands around his neck. Whenever he tried to calm down, he remembered again that he couldn't breathe and repeated to process. Again and again, the cycle went on until he heard Ron shouting at him from somewhere. Getting louder and louder. All Harry wanted to do, was to be left alone to suffer fore he deserved it. The voice seemed to not get the idea and grew in volume until-

Harry shot out up and out of bed suddenly. Sitting up in a flurry of panic he flung himself out of bed. He blinked for a few seconds when he realized he was no longer in his dream and that he was covered in sweat. Glancing around, he noticed that it was still dark in the castle. Not even in his panic did he awake someone. Harry slowly got up from his bedside and looked out the dorm window. The sky was dead black and was lit up by the stars. Harry secretly liked that part about where the school was. Far away enough so one could see the stars in the night sky. As peaceful as it was, Harry felt like someone was watching him, like their eyes were trained on him and watching his every move. Not only were those eyes watching him, they seemed to have a specific intent to do something. Something bad. Laying back down in his bed, the feeling only grew. Sleep outright refused to come to him. It seemed to be laughing at him and taunting him with small bouts of drowsiness, but never allowing him to sleep.

Every time he would start to feel drowsy, the feeling of something watching him woke him have him back and awake in seconds. The cycle continued until Dean Thomas and Seamus got up to get ready for the first day of school. Hearing them both get ready made him realize how little sleep he had actually gotten. After helping out the new Professor find the classroom, the others had already changed and in deep sleep. Then considering that Harry had trouble falling asleep due to his excitement for the following day took up even more time, he estimated he had a grand total of 2-3 hours of uncomfortable sleep. He heard Ron and Neville get up soon after Dean and Seamus had left. They both chatted about nothing and started to prepare for the day.

"Oi! Harry, it's time to get up!" Ron's call to him made him jump in surprise.

Reluctantly, he pulled the warm blankets off him and allow the chilly air to encase him. Only then did he feel the effects of his night in his body. He ached all over, he had a pounding headache, his eyes were sore and hurt to open, and the anxiety from the night did not lessen. If anything, it only grew and was more insistant.

"Bloody hell, mate." Ron said in surprise, "You look awful."

"I feel awful. I hardly got any sleep." grumbled Harry in a response. He got up and started to get his clothes on to prepare for the exhausting day.

Neville and Ron shared a look of concern for him. They both knew that Harry sometimes had sleep issues and had some nightmares which lead to an irritable Harry for the day. The three of them chatted idly as they finished getting ready. As they walked to the Great Hall, Hermione caught up with them and had a similar reaction as Ron over Harry's appearance.

"Harry, you look as if you had gotten less than 4 hours of sleep!" she said.

"Not far from the truth." Harry replied in an annoyed tone giving her a look. Could they not shout?

"Oh, Harry." she said much quieter this time, "you should go to bed early tonight if you are having trouble sleeping again."

He responded with an eye roll. Of course he knew that. It was only a matter of the damn anxiety he felt whenever he tried to sleep.

Arriving at the Hall, they found a place to sit at the Gryffindor table. They talked about Quidditch and trashing the Slytherins along with the Daily Prophet. Professor McGonagoll eventually came around and gave everyone their timetables.

Ron groaned and exclaimed "We got History of Magic, double Portions, Divination, and double Defence Against the Dark Arts!"

"Well, at least you don't have Professor Binns any more." Hermione added thoughtful.

"Yeah, but instead we got Snape, Trelawney, and Umbridge." retorted Harry.

"Yeah Hermione, you at least don't have to deal with Trelawney." Ron said in a spiteful manner.

Hermione only humphed and turned back to examine her schedule for the rest of the week.

The three of them soon left the Great Hall and headed toward the History of Magic classroom. Harry hoped it would be more interesting with a new Professor teaching it. He wondered what Professor Aldrige meant by talking about things. Yeah, he had been through a lot, but why would he need to talk about those things? Sure, he had some nightmares, but they were few and far between. He also knew about his anxiety, but it wasn't crippling his ability to learn and get through the day. He was totally fine, mentaly and physically. Besides, there are people out there who have gone through far worse than him, so why should he complain?

The three of them made their way into the classroom and noticed major changes. It was no longer a boring looking room, the windows had bright red curtains with gold fringe along the edges, shelves of artifacts and old and torn books, the walls were filled with colorful flags for who knows what, skeletons of magical creatures hung from the ceiling, the desks were arranged in a similar way as Professor Binns had had it, and the once drearly looking classroom was filled with life.

"Well, I think this year, History of Magic may be one of my favorite classes." Harry said in awe.

"Agreed."both Ron and Hermione said in agreement.

As the other students filtered in, they all noticed the major tone and decoration change. The room was quickly filled with chatter. Most of the girls were excited for a close up of this new, younger Professor who seemed attractive enough at the feast while the boys complained about how they were no longer going to get an extra one and a half hours of sleep. The bell rang soon enough and the Professor was still not in the classroom. Everyone seemed slightly confused at the tardy Professor. In every other class, the Professor was always right on time or early, never late.

Suddenly the small door at the back of the classroom bust open and a man fell to the ground along with a stack of papers and books. The few students closest to him quickly stood up and began to help their new Professor gather his things.

"Ah, thank you!" he called behind the wall of things he was carrying. "You may go back to you sets now!"

While the students returned to their seats, the Professor walked swiftly down the aisle toward his desk in the classroom. Wobbling all the way down in an attempt to not lose any books or papers. He finally reached the desk where he plopped everything down in exhaustion and looked up giving the class a much better view of his face.

His hair while commed, seemed to be fighting against whatever he had put on to calm it down, his cheeks were flushed in embarrassment, he was even more gangly looking as now they could see his slightly sunken cheeks, long bony fingers and long, but muscular limbs.

"Hello!" he greeted simply.

The class murmerd a hello response. Some of the girls were eyeing him in what was not a PG rated way.

"Um, I will be your new History of Magic Professor." he said with uncertainty. "You will address me as Professor Aldrige and nothing else."

"I am sure you all know plenty about the Goblin War Professor Binns was so fond of teaching." he added with a tad bit of a sarcastic note which some of the class snickered in response.

"So, for today, I am going to give you a test." the class groaned in response.

"This test will be over all of the things you should have coverderd in the past few years. This test is only going to me so I have an idea of what we need to go over and what you all need refreshers on. Tomorrow I would like for you to make sure you all have paper and quills ready to take notes with." he explained with a small smile due to the reactions of the students.

"Well, he seems to be a much better teacher."Hermione whispered to the other two who nodded in agreement.

While the Professor passed out the test, the students got out their ink and quills. Faces of confusion soon was quite prominent of the students. They could remember nothing to very little from the past few years in the class, most of which were the ones who spent the period sleeping rather than taking notes. Hermione was one of the only ones who seemed to know how to answer the questions. Even then, there were a few she had met her match with and guessed on the answers. Harry was having a hard time keeping awake due to the quiet classroom and found himself drifting off every few minutes making it very difficult to get just one question done. Ron was being Ron and had almost no idea what any of the questions were asking. It may as well have been in a different language at that point for him.

The period ended soon and they all turned in their tests. He gave each of the students a smile and thank you as they turned them in. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all walked out completely exhausted. Each wondering how they were going to last their next few classes. Especially with double Potions with Snape next. Hermione and Ron spent most of the passing period either complaining about classes or exchanging theories as to why Professor Binns left.

Harry just wanted some sleep, but the anxiety kept him from doing just that. That anxiety would not leave him alone. It put him on edge, almost making him jump at every sudden sound in the hallways. He would constantly look over his shoulder and his brain would yell at him 'DANGER! DANGER' even though they were just walking down the hall. Not to mention he was getting annoyed very quickly whenever Hermione or Ron complained over the smallest of things. He wanted to shout and scream at them to shut up or shoot spells to make them stop. The anxiety didn't dim as time went on, it merely rose.

The three of them made their way to the dungeons for Potions. By that time, Harry's anxiety and exhaustion was making him feel greatly annoyed. He was absolutely dreading Potions. Walking into Snape's classroom made that dread multiply by 100.

Harry was already bad at potions, he didn't need Snape to degrade him further. But that is what Snape did exactly. He picked out a finicky little potion to brew and made it as hard as possible. While Harry worked on his, the bouts of drowsiness were getting to him and made it extremely hard to focus on the instructions. He knew for a fact that his was not going to turn out good when he looked around to see the others potions. Hermione had a silver mist emitting from the cauldron while his was a dark grey color that held a slight bad odour. Ron's was even worse, shooting green sparks and smelled like rotting food.With ten minutes left, Snape finally walked over to Harry for the kill.

"Potter, can I assume that you know how to read?" Snape asked in his slow and cold voice.

"Yes, I can Professor." Harry responded tensely looking down at his unfortunate concoction.

"Then please explain why you skipped steps 1,5, and 6?" he spoke softly. Unfortunately, some of the Slytherins had overheard and or looked over only to snicker at Harry getting into trouble.

Harry looked at the board and his heart sank.He had indeed completely skipped over those steps in his half sleep like state.

"I forgot to do them, Professor." Harry responded quietly while his right hand was tightening around the ingredient he held.

"Well then Potter, I hope you can understand that this potions is absolutely worthless." Snape said and used a spell to empty the cauldron.

It was far too late to restart now. The potion had taken well over half the class time to even begin brewing. There was no chance for Harry to get his marks for the day. Watching the others finish their potions made his anxiety rise even more. He had absolutely nothing to turn in and was going to start the year with poor marks. As soon as the bell rang, he dashed out of the class and was one of the first ones to reach the lunchroom. Thank God for having lunch right after Potions. It allowed him to recharge in a way after the first two classes. He could now at least eat and wake up a bit before having to deal with Umbridge in his final class for the day. Hoping for the best, he started to eat his lunch and waited for Ron and Hermione to arrive at the Great Hall.


	5. Chapter 4 (Merlin)

"Lemon Drop." she spoke. Then the statue began to spin upwards and revealed stairs. Once the spinning stopped, they both walked up until they reached the top.

"Ah, Mr. Aldridge. I have been expecting you." said an old man sitting at the deskin the center of the room. "I am Albus Dumbledore." The man smiled and gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. "Let us talk about a job for you this school year, shall we?"

Merlin slowly walked up to the desk and took a seat in the chair in front. He noticed a phoenix in all its glory showing off his feathers and held pride on its looks. His eyes were clear and healthy, feathers glossy and reflected the light slightly, and had strong powerful talons. His magnificently feathers shone in the sunlight and have off a small glow giving him an air of a celestial being.

"I see you have noticed Fawkes," Dumbledore said noticing his gaze trained on the creature. "That very bird has helped me out of more situations than I would care to count."

"He seems to like you a lot. Phoenixes are not usually quite so attached to humans. They prefer to stay away from all the trouble." Merlin added, more talking to himself rather than his interviewer in front of him.

"I see you are knowledgeable with magical creatures as well?" Dumbledore said with surprise. If this man said as he was, be could potentially take over any spot in the school if ever needed.

Merlin's face grew red in embarrassment. "I could have mentioned more, but then it would seem like I was lying about my skills."

"Quite understandable, Mr, Aldrige. Now let us focus on the class you will be teaching." Dumbledore said getting down to business. "There will be a test to see if you are qualified in the matter of teaching History of Magic. Our previous professor has left due to unforeseen events. He wishes the best to whomever decides to take up the class."

"Understood," Merlin said simply.

Dumbledore stood up and gestured him to follow. As Merlin did, the phoenix, Fawkes, flew up from its perch and onto his shoulder. The bright red bird cooed and nuzzled his head like a tamed bird would. Both of them looked up in surprise. Dumbledore was positive that the phoenix had never been that affectionate toward him, even when he was troubled. Merlin looked up and raised his hand to stroke its feathers. The phoenix leaned into the touch and completely relaxed, nearly causing him to lose his balance.

"Emrys…." spoke a soft voice, in what could only be Fawkes. "Your magic fills the air with the Old Religion. Us creatures can feel it whether we know what it is or not."

Merlin was baffled when the phoenix called him that. No one, not even Athusia had said that name to him for a very long time. He asked her to stop using that name because, well, he had failed his destiny and was not able to achieve what he was expected to do.

"I am genuinely surprised to see one of your kind with a human. Don't phoenixes usually prefer to stay out of the business of of humans?" Merlin asked tentatively, referring to Dumbledore and still slightly shocked that the magnificent creature would choose to perch on him.

"The man is part of a line from one who saved the life of my kin many hundred years ago. We are indebted to their family tree," Fawkes responded. "Although I do not mind much, it gives me something to do in my long life."

This time Merlin didn't respond other than a small 'hm' and allowed some of his magic into his hand that was stroking the phoenix. Fawks purred similarly like a cat and flew back to his perch.

Albus was in quite a shock, but did not let it show. Who was this man that could tame a creature as wild as a phoenix? What else could he do that none other could? Simply smiling and putting his thoughts aside for later, he gestured again for Aldrige to come.

Walking through the maze of hallways and stairs, they finally stopped at a classroom. In the classroom there was a stack of papers ready on a desk and a woman with black hair that was greying tucked tightly back into a bun with a stern expression.

"This is Minerva McGonagall, she teaches transfiguration here at the school and will be supervising the test as we do not want any form of cheating. She will give you the rules and an explanation for each task that is needed" Dumbledore explained. He then excused himself and returned to his office.

Merlin stood there awkwardly and not knowing what to do. He slowly walked up to the desk and took a seat down.

"I hope you know that if you do not do well on this test, you will not be seen as incompetent and will be turned down the job." She said.

Merlin nodded, picked up the quill laid out for him and began the test. For having watched all of history through the crystal, he would have thought the test would harder as he could not watch at all times of the day. For Merlin, taking the test was very easy. He could clearly spot some questions where others may have had some issues, but he knew them all. The test was over the general history of the wizarding world whilst being a few questions on more specific areas. It had taken him just over a half an hour. Merlin deliberately took longer than what he could have done just to make it more believable even if it was already not. After handing the paper to Minerva, she told him to go back to the Headmaster's office to finish the interview with a skeptical gaze.

Merlin made his way back to the office when he noticed something off about the paintings. They were moving! Granted this was a school for witches and wizards, and moving paintings were quite normal for the wealthy. But the amount of living paintings was astonishing. The people within the paintings chatted amongst themselves and paid him no mind while Merlin was in awe.

After gawking for about a minute, he made the rest of the way to the office. Speaking the password and walking up the spiral staircase he wondered if Fawkes would perch on his shoulders again. The phoenix seemed quite friendly and having someone always in the Headmaster's office would give him information if anything big came up.

"Ah, Mr. Aldridge," Dumbeldore said. "I was not expecting you for at least another hour. The test was made to be difficult."

"Well I found the test quite easy." he responded. Fawkes flew down to his shoulder again and began to sleep while the interview took place. "Whoever made that test should remake it with harder questions because they were all on the past 600 years. There are plenty of interesting stories that date back over 1000 years ago and yet the curriculum was only over the total timespan of 600 years." Merlin added with dislike. There was only one question over ancient magic and that upset him to no end. Magic has been a part of the world since the dawn of time. Why there was only one question over it baffled him.

Dumbledore could feel despite rising within him, I made that test specifically to be difficult. Who is this wizard making me look like a fool?

"Although there were a few I was uncertain of." Merlin added quickly. He could see the malice in Dumbledore's eyes hidden beneath the wall of gentle twinkling kindness. Having a bad reputation with this man would only cause more issues for him. Dumbeldore was a greatly liked figure and one of the more powerful wizards of this era

"Right, so," Dumbledore said getting back on topic. "The previous professor, Professor Binns, has had to leave due to some personal issues in the spirit world. He told me that he would regretfully be gone for a few years wishing for the new teacher good luck in getting the children readjusted."

Merlin nodded in understanding. There was one thing he knew, most teens did not do well with changes. Especially things they have or had grown up with.

The rest of the interview was simple enough. He was asked basic questions on his family, work ethic, and his achievements answering them all with ease. Dumbledore said that he would get back to him as soon as he could. Though with all of the things going on, finding people who will actually stick with the teaching job was much harder than what it used to be. Even Dumbledore himself began to believe the curse on the Defence Against the Dark Arts spot. They both chatted for a while and talked about the rules of the school. Including the 'Forbidden Forest' which wasn't really all that forbidden because the class Care of Magical Creatures, some detentions, and the Keeper of Keys are allowed there, as well as Diagon Alley. Dumbledore mentioned it once and Merlin had no idea what he was talking about. Dumbledore took his excuse of 'being homeschooled' and 'living in a remote area' for not knowing what it was. Then explaining what it was and how to get to it. After some time, Merlin decided it was time for him to leave. Waking Fawkes, he bid Dumbledore a farewell he left.

While looking around at the surrounding area, he noticed a small village nearby the school. He hoped there was a place he could stay in for the time being. The town was called Hogsmead and the locals were quite welcoming. He found an inn called the Hogs Head and decided to stay there for the time waiting to hear Dumbledore's response. Walking in, he realized how tired he was from the day. He paid for his room and not even unpacking his things yet, he laid on the bed was was able to take a much needed nap.

He spent about just over a week waiting for a reply in the inn when he finally got one and it read:

August 18, 1995

Mathew Aldrige,

I can inform you with great pleasure that you will be able to teach this year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizarding as the History of Magic professor. We will need the required books and or other materials that you have chosen for the class.

The Semester will start on Sept. 1st. and you will be expected at the school at approx. 5 o-clock. Then you will be shown your classroom and the optional room where you can stay. You are not required to stay in the school, but there are accommodations ready if needed. We look forward to seeing you this year at Hogwarts.

Sincerely,

Headmistress of Hogwarts,

Minerva McGonagall

Merlin sighed in relief and relaxed for a moment reading that he was going to be able to teach. Then proceeded to realize he needed to inform them of the books the students will need for the year.Walking out of the inn, Merlin made his way to the train station. Purchasing a ticket to London, he was on his way to Diagon Alley.


	6. Chapter 5 (Harry)

A/N: I am so so so sorry about the late posting. I have been trying to keep it at most a week till the next chapter. I started procrastinating and then it was 3 days till monday. Then I continued to procrastinate and only got like 1000 words on Sunday. I had full intent to finish it on this monday, but something came up and I was no shape to write. I cut this chapter short a little so I could get something posted. Again, I am very sorry for my own incompetence.

* * *

Harry had not eaten much for breakfast due to him practically sleeping the entire morning, so when he finally reached the Great Hall he was starving. He grabbed a bit of food and had started to eat when he could hear Ron and Hermione chatting as they walked over to him.

"Snape is just a fowl pig!"

"Ron! Snape is a part of the Order, he has his reasons for acting the way that he does!"

Harry could already feel another headache brewing. He could tell it was Hermione and Ron just by the shouting.

"Let's play a game. How long can you last till you blow up at them," Harry mumbled to himself quietly.

Harry could hear them shouting the whole way down the hall and his anxiety skyrocketed. He kept on eating to try and distract him from the impending threat of Ron's and Hernione's arguing.

"Well that does not excuse him from treating Harry like he knocked up his daughter and forced her to get an abortion while ruinning their family by setting them up to be the cause of Dumbledores murder!" Ron shouted as he sat down next to Harry.

"Ron, you watch what you say! Even if neither you nor Harry like Snape, you still have to respect them!" Hermione snapped back. "You have to understand that they are sacrificing their time to teach unappreciative youths the necessary things for them to survive in this world."

"Oh go preach your ideas elsewhere 'Mione," Ron groaned as he filled his plate with food. "Snape is an absolute git to anyone who is not in Slytherin and you know it."

Hermione humphed and sat down on the other side of Harry while giving Ron dirty looks. She too grabbed a plate and started to fill it when Ron reached for a bread roll, she was quick to grab the one he was going for.

"Come on Hermione, how petty can you be." Ron yelled at her over Harry.

Harry was now having difficulty breathing. His heart started to pick up pace and he felt his hands start to get clammy. He had to get out. Now.

"Can the both of you please be quiet." He said, but went unnoticed by Hermione's response.

"Yo, dudes," Harry said with more insistence. "Please stop-" he was abruptly cut off by Ron's reply this time.

Harry started to feel dizzy and every sound started to meld together. He couldn't take it anymore.

'WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!" Harry's voice cracked as he shouted. "THE BOTH OF YOU ARE ALWAYS AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS AND IT'S ENOUGH TO DRIVE ANYONE MAD!"

It went dead silent in the Great Hall and everyone was now staring at the now standing Harry. He didn't even take one glance at Ron's and Hermione's face after he shouted. He ran out of the hall. He ran without direction and only with the thought of getting away from whatever was putting him in danger. He ran until he found himself in a small deserted hallway near the North Towers.

It felt like he was about to die. Everything muted out and he could hardly breathe. His heart was beating so hard, he thought it would pop right out of his chest and roll on the ground. When tried to stand up to move to a more secluded place, a wave of nausea and dizziness hit him like a bag of bricks. He whimpered as he fell back down and started to cry. Curling up into the fetal position, he rocked himself back and forth trying to calm himself back down. The sudden feeling of death crept upon his thoughts and made everything worse. Memories of Cedric dying and almost being killed flashed through him. Not once did they stop to allow him to catch his breath. It felt like he was back fighting Professor Quirl and he had his hands wrapped around his throat, trying to kill him. After what felt like an hour of panicking was really only about 5 minutes he was able to calm down. His anxiety was still pretty high, but not near the level of what it had been.

"Well, you made an all time record of 30 seconds," he said to himself in a crude manner.

He spent the rest of the break recovering and feeling even more like shit than earlier. He was unable to take the nap he needed, so he knew for a fact that the rest of the day was going to be absolute hell. Especially since his next class was Divination and Professor Trelawney was always making predicting his death almost every class. While granted, she was not quite as bad as Snape, it still got pretty annoying.

Harry walked in to the Divination classroom just a few minutes till the bell rang. Ron had already taken a seat at a table was looking around worriedly for him. Harry grunted as he sat down, slightly satisfied with the look on Ron's face.

"Hermione reckons that you should stop taking your anger out on us and all," Ron said tentatively.

"I'm not tr-" Harry started to say, but was ignored by Ron who just kept going.

"And I'm going to have to be honest here," Ron said tartly. "I agree with Hermione here. You should really stop taking out your anger on us. I am just relaying what she said, but dude. Please stop doing that."

Harry didn't even try to explain himself at this point. He knew that he should stop bursting out with anger at them and that Ron was going to keep going on about this until class ended. Ron and Hermione have been his friends since the beginning and losing them would mean that he would lose the only people that have stuck by his side since the beginning.

"I mean, yeah, we get that you have been through a lot, but don't take it out on us. It's not our fault that you are always seeming to attract trouble. I feel like you forget that we have been through some tough shit to."

While Ron continued, Harry only felt worse. The two of them have been through almost as much as him, why should he be able to blow up at them when they don't blow up at him? He didn't get the excuse to make it seem like he has it worse, because he doesn't. Ron and Hermione have got it really bad to. Hermione is constantly being teased for her smarts and being muggle born. Ron has to live up to his older brothers and his parents' expectations. Eventually, the bell rang to signify that class had started.

Divination was nearly as bad as potions, but this was mainly because Harry hated the class. He knew what his future held and did not need Professor Trelawney's predictions. He knew his life was going to be crap and that he was going to lose people close to him, but Harry just wished that he had nothing to do with Voldemort and could live a more normal life. Through the whole class, Harry felt his anxiety rise up again when he remembered that Defence Against the Dark Arts was next. They new professor Umbridge did not seem like a good choice in Dumbledore's part, but considering the Ministry, he probably didn't have much of a choice. After about an excruciating 45 minutes, Harry and Ron were finally set free only to go to another class.

The both of them did not talk much through the passing period and Harry did not mind one bit. It was his last chance of peaceful silence so Harry relished it. Eventually, the two of them were forced to make their way to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

This was the class Harry had been waiting all day. The D.A.D.A. teachers were either going to be liked by all or despised by all. A small sliver of hope grew in Harry that Umbrige would be a decent teacher, but if Harry had learned anything from his previous experiences, this class would become a class he despised. Harry and Ron walked in, sat down, and waited for class to begin. Hermione was already there and immediately took notice when they walked in. Harry shot her a small glare and she back down, understanding that he was not in the mood for talking.

Umbridge walked in with a painfully bright pink cardigan and her toad like face still remained. Not much has changed since yesterday Harry concluded. The bell rang and the class started.

"Good afternoon class!" she called out in her sickly sweet tone.

A few students muttered a hesitant good afternoon back. This didn't satisfy Umbridge at all.

"That won't do at all. I would like for you to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbrige'. Let's try again, shall we? Good afternoon class!" Umbridge tried again.

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge." the class chanted back already not liking where this was going.

She seemed pleased with the response this time around and continued, "Now if you would please put away your wands and take out you quills."

It was after this line that Harry steamining. D.A.D.A. without magic? This was going to be absolute hell. Harry now knew that the time before he reached boiling point was near. Professor Umbridge walked over to the black board and taped it with her wand. A small list of words appeared saying:

Course Aims:

Understanding the principles of defensive magic

Recognising situations in which legal defensive magic can be used

Placing the use of defensive magic in context for practical use

She then told them to copy it down and begin to read the book she assigned. The class started to read it and immediately became uninterested. Harry could only compare it to Professor Binns teaching. The writing was bland and was not able to keep the class interested for more than a few sentences. By some time, Harry had read only a few pages, he could hardly concentrate due to him still being tired and of how bland the writing was. Ron had spaced out and was staring at one spot in the book while messing around with his quil. Eventually, Harry took notice to Hermione. Her book was not open at all and was raising her hand. It was quite clear to Harry that Umbridge was trying to ignore her, but as a few more students took notice of her it was unavoidable.

"If you have a query about the book please ask. We are just reading right now." said Professor Umbridge.

"It's not a query about the book." Hermione stated. "It's a query about your aims in teaching the course."

"The course aims are right on the bored and are perfectly clear, miss--?." Professor Umbridge said in a sweet tone.

"Hermione Granger." she paused. "Yes, but the course aims don't say anything about using the defencive spells."

A large portion of the class took interest in what was happening rather quickly due to not being able to concentrate on the book. A few people took a look at the board and started whispering to their friends.

"Using spells?" Professor Umbridge said with a little laugh. " I cannot imagine any situation where you would need to use defensive spells during class. You don't expect to get attacked in the classroom, do you?"

"We are not using magic!" Ron exclaimed outraged.

This now set off a blinding flurry of confused faces as they reread the Course Aims and listened to what was being said.

"Students are expected to raise their hand if they wished to speak, Mr--?"

"Weasly." Ron said while thrusting his hand up in the air.

Harry now had his hand up as well. Professor Umbridge gave Ron a disgusting toad like smile and turned her back to him and focused on Hemione whose hand was also up.

"Miss Granger, you wanted to ask something else?" she said.

"Yes, surely the whole purpose of having the mandatory course Defence Against the Dark Arts to practice these defencive spells?" Hermione asked bluntly.

"Have you been trained in education by the Ministry, Miss Granger?" she asked.

"No-"

"Well then you are not qualified to decide the 'point' of the class, are you not Miss Granger?" Professor Umbrige said in her sweet like tone.

"Well not knowing how to perform defencive spells won't help us any." Harry said loudly. He was not near to the point of boiling. Who the hell gave this thing the right to take away one of the only things that make him actually happy about his life? "If we get attac-"

'Hand, Mr. Potter." Professor Umbridge sang out.

Professor Umbridge, now completely ignoring him, turned her back. There was now a number of other students raising their hands and all had similar questions. Their reading had now been long forgotten and were more concerned with the use of magic.

The questions kept on flowing and Professor Umbridge respond with along the lines of 'If you study the theory well enough, you won't need to practice the spells at all' or 'You will be able to cast the spells under a controlled and safe environment.' When she called Lupin a half breed Harry decided enough was enough.

"What is theory going to do for us if we are attacked?" Harry shouted over everyone. "The real world won't hang out and wait for you to figure out how to cast a spell!"

"Mr. Potter," Umbridge said as she looked over to him. "The school is not the 'real world'. There is nothing waiting for you outside these walls. Who in their right mind would attack children?" She spoke in a dangerously soft tone.

Harry knew that if things rose to any higher level, it would not be good, but he was too far gone to stop. He was close to boiling over and did not notice that the class was now quiet and listening.

"Oh yeah, well let's think. Who could be waiting outside these walls." Harry said in a mocking tone. "Could there be dangerous creatures? No, of course not. Could there be insane wizards and witches that might attack us? No, no, no, there's nothing waiting for us right?" Harry was now standing up out of his seat. He could clearly see the rage within Professor Umbridge's eyes.

"Harry Potter, raise your ha-"

"NO!" He shouted over her. "Who would attack children? I don't know… maybe the one and only Lord Voldemort?"

The classes reaction was instant. Like he had just killed another human being in front of the whole class. A girls let out small screams and squeals, a couple of the boys gasped, and even Ron gasped.

"Ten points from Gryffindor." Professor Umbridge said.

Harry had now blown off most of his steam and had caught up with what had happened, but he did not care at all. He had had a hell of a day, and would not tolerate anymore bullshit.


	7. Chapter 6 (Merlin)

A/N: Updates will NOT be consistent. I have a very high expectation for myself and hate anything lower than an A- as my class grade. I will attempt to get as much pre written as possible to keep updates consistent. School sucks in general. ;-;

Edit: Some grammar changes and inconsistent naming. Thanks to the one who mentioned it :)

* * *

The trip to London was nice and quiet as it was fairly early in the morning. There were a few other people on the train, but not enough to make it feel crowded. He made his way to Leadenhall Market. There were people bustling about due to it being about noon. Walking around he found the abandoned looking store that none of the non-magical folk could see. Remembering what Dumbledore said, he walked into the store and was quite surprised to see it had quite a few people in it. Granted it was a Friday and most people are off on the weekends.

The small pub had a mysterious feel to it. It was only lit by the window that was placed high up letting a small amount of sunlight through and small candles littered throughout. The wizards and witches paid him no mind as they were far more interested in their conversations with each other. The pub had quite an overall pleasant feel and Merlin took note to come and visit sometime. Making his way to the back entrance, he opened the door to a small enclosed area with bareles and brick walls. From what Dumbledore told him, the key to getting to Diagon Alley was the way you pressed the bricks.

"It was… where…? Up three ...then… two across," he mumbled to himself as he tried to remember. He soon began to tap the bricks in the order Dumbledore told him to. With his hand, he allowed a miniscule amount of magic and the bricks in the wall started to shake. He jumped back in awe as the bricks began to form an entry way that led to a long narrow street that was flooding with people.

There were plenty of shops on either side full of magical products. He noticed a massive white building at the end of the street with golden words. Part way through, the building began to tilt inward and Merlin wondered what inspired such an odd choice of design. Dismissing the building for now, he took his time and looked around. He found a bookstore and browsed around. While avoiding running into people, he looked at the many books of varying subjects and found many very intriguing titles. Finally getting to the history section, he looked around and suddenly remembered, he had no money to purchase anything. Quickly walking out, he looked back at the massive white building and could read what the words said: GRINGOTTS BANK

Continuing to avoid and dodge people, he finally was able to get to the bank entrance. After walking through a set of doors, Merlin noticed on the second pair there was a poem engraved:

"Enter, stranger, but take heed

Of what awaits the sin of greed,

For those who take, but do not earn,

Must pay most dearly in their turn,

So if you seek beneath our floors

A treasure that was never yours,

Thief, you have been warned, beware

Of finding more than treasure there."

Merlin felt a shiver go down his spine at the warning. It was clear that the owners here are very protective of the money they keep. He wondered what creature would be so protective of things such as wizarding money. Going past the engraved doors it was explained clearly. The keepers of the bank were goblins. In his experience, goblins were small, green, humanoid things with pointy ears. Granted, it had been at least 1000 years since he had last interacted with other creatures than Aithusa, so they must have evolved into something that would fit their situation. The ones he saw looked more like humans, other than being far too short, having pointy ears and sharp nails, large noses, and a more human-like complexion.

Merlin walked past the two rows of high desks that had goblins working until he had nearly reached the single desk in the back. There were a few other people within the building, but Merlin focused on how he was going to get money if he had no account. Then a small cough caught his attention. He looked down and saw a goblin dressed in an old fashioned suit with glasses.

"Greetings, Emrys." the goblin said.

"H-how d-," Merlin sputtered.

"I am the Head Goblin here at Gringotts," he continued, not paying attention to Merlins shock. "I would assume you are in need of wizarding money, yes?"

"Uh, yes actually," Merlin answers. He was filled with questions that he hoped would be answered.

"Follow me. We goblins have been able to salvage many artifacts of the Old Religion. Including objects from Camelot." the goblin continued. "We have also added a large sum of money in case you ever wished to return from your hiding."

Merlin followed the gobin dumbly. The goblin made his way to a small railway cart with seats and gestured for him to get in.

"How do you know who I am?" Merlin asked.

"Emrys, the many, if not all of the creatures can sense what you are active. We can all feel your presence." the goblin said.

Just as Merlin was about to reply the cart jolted forward and they were off at a blinding speed. They took so many twists and turns so quickly, Merlin thought that they were going to derail. He watched as they went deeper and deeper into the earth. Until the cart stopped and Merlin heaved forward with the force. Nausea flooded over him as he attempted to get out of the evil cart.

As he got out, he noticed something. It was a roar of pain. A cry for help.

"What is that?" Merlin asked.

"That's the Ukrainan Ironbelly, a dragon. It guards the Lestrange vault." the goblin said tartly. "We have it trained to feel pain with a certain sound, we won't get attacked by it."

"How long has it been here?" Merlin demanded. He was now very concerned. How could they do this to a dragon?

"No idea. Maybe a century?" the goblin said without much care. He continued to lead Merlin deeper and the wailing grew softer. "Before you start to get on us goblins about how to guard things, you have not been around for hundreds of years. We too, have struggled to find a place for us so we won't be killed off by the changing world."

Merlin grew silent at this. He felt the need as a Dragon Lord to protect this dragon. He vowed to himself to find an alternative and set the dragon free. But it could not be done now.

"The old goblins felt that they should repay you for some reason. They kept many things of your time locked away in this cave. Including the large sum on wizarding money."

"Why would they feel that need?" Merlin asked. He had never done anything for the goblins. Why would they feel the need to repay him for something he never did.

"How could I know? They did what they did and passed this cave through the generations." the goblin replied.

Merlin could feel some sort of dislike by the goblins tone, so he left it alone. Continuing the trek in the dark and damp cave they suddenly stopped.

"Only the Head Goblin of Gringotts are able to access your vault. They are also the only ones who know that we still have this vault. It goes by an unidentified number and was the first ever case of goblins to keep safing valuables for others."

The Head Goblin spoke and dragged his finger on a seemingly ordinary section of the cave wall. The wall began to move, twist and reveal a massive area. It was full of old Camelot things, old relics from the Old Religion, and a large mountain of gold, silver, and bronze coins.

Merlin walked in as he saw the familiar red bearing cape of the Pendragon Family Crest. A large, embroidered, golden dragon was stretched out and held its mouth open in a triumphant roar. One good look at it, and the memories came flooding back of Will, Lancelot, Gwain, Percival, Eleyan, Gwen, Gaius, and Arthur. It was then Merlin realized he couldn't remember their faces. As the years went by, somewhere in that time, he must have forgotten what they looked like. He even couldn't clearly remember what happened in his time at Camelot, or Elordor. The burning feeling of tears and his anxiety rose. How much had he forgotten while hiding away?

"If you have no other business here, I would suggest we leave before any other goblins begin to wonder where I am located." the goblin said at the entrance of the vault.

Merlin quickly pushed back his thought and grabbed a good handful of each type of coin and took one last glance back at the vault.

"If you wish to take anything else with you, you may. It's yours." said the goblin.

With that, Merlin quickly grabbed one of the capes, folded it, and tucked it under his arm. Not being able to face the other things in his vault, he darted out.

"I would also suggest you make a wand of your own. Wizards and witches of this time use them more frequently than what they used to." the goblin mentioned walking back to the cart.

Merlin froze for a split second. He had forgotten something else. A wand. How was he going to gain any info on wands, let alone, get one? Merlin knew that wands 'chose' their user, but his magic would kill the wand with just being near it.

Merlin climbed back into the evil cart and took a hellish ride back up to the surface. Thanking the goblin, he left Gringotts with a bag full of money ready to purchase anything he needed.

Walking about Diagon Alley, he noticed a pet store. He figured he needed to get an owl for communication and walked in. Seeing the assortment of cats, toads, rats, and owls, he took particular notice of a tawny owl. It cooed at him and stared right back at him.

"That one has a bad eye. Makes traveling difficult for the little thing." said the owner walking up.

"I'll take him." he said.

"You sure, mate? We have owls that will travel much faster than that one." the owner said uncertainty.

"Yes, I am sure." Merlin said. There was no room for questions in his tone. "How much for the tawny owl?"

"10 galleons." said the owner. "The gold ones." he added when he saw Merlin fumble about with his money.

Merlin paid the owner and took the owl with him. It cooed happily as they walked out the doors of the store. Merlin then made his way to the bookstore to look for any good history books. Unfortunately, he did not find any that suited what he had in mind for the curriculum. So, he bought a few novels to pass any free time he might have.

His arms were now a tad bit full. He would have to come back for more supplies later. But he still needed a wand. Walking by the wand store he stopped to overhear some of the conversations. He eventually learned of a few woods that were used in wand making as well as the magical cores.

With his new gained information, he made his way back to the Leaky Cauldron with his money, books, and owl. It was now almost past 5 pm when he finally reached the small pub. He asked the bartender if there were any rooms he could rent for a time. The bartender said yes, but he would have to pay for each night. Merlin paid the man 16 galleons for up until September 1st, when the term started. He used this time to gather materials needed to make a believable wand and to find any other information. Learning about how the wizarding world worked was his top priority. Taking a considerable amount of time, he looked over all of the spells used in Hogwarts curriculum and figured out similar spells using his magic. He also looked over many books on magical creatures. His favorite was Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them, by Newt Scamander. Merlin could tell that the man was very passionate about these creatures and hated they way some were treated unjustly.

'FUCK!" Merlin shouted.

He had spent the entire day reading his books and had not realized it was the first of September. He should have been at Hogwarts by now and be sitting with the other staff members. Not scrambling up his belongings is a desperate attempt to leave the room. Using his magic, his belongings started to pack themselves in small suitcases.

He took one look outside and saw how rainy it was. Tossing on his new cloak, he gathered the rest of his things by hand to quicken the process and put them in his bag. Swiftly walking out the room, he paid for the last day of rent and made his way out and into the streets of London. He walked into a small dark corner and teleported himself right next to the school. His owl, Aluxo, as he was named, would be able to find him quickly. Merlin discovered with Aluxo's lack of speed, he was strong and had amazing navigation skills. He knew for a fact that Aluxo would not be happy about searching for him, but Merlin could not wait.

Merlin walked to the main entrance and placed his suitcases into his small bag. Almost running toward the Great Hall, he opened the doors a little too hard and they let out a loud bang. All eyes were on him. What an amazing start to his first year teaching at Hogwarts.


	8. Chapter 7 (Harry)

The entire class was in shock as to how their first DADA class was going. Hermione asked a single question and the rest went downhill with the speed of a thundering herd of horses.

Harry had just lost Gryffindor 10 points and was not stopping there. He was boiling over and was not putting up with anymore bullshit from anyone.

"Now, you have been told that a Dark wizard has been raised from the dead-"

"Not exactly dead, but yes. He is back." Harry said.

"Mr. Potter! Do not make matters worse for yourself." Professor Umbridge said dangerously. "What you have been told is a lie. Not, Potter, please take a seat back down and read the chapter assigned. "

"IT IS NOT A LIE!" Harry shouted. Surprising himself with the volume of his voice. "I SAW HIM AND FOUGHT HIM MYSELF!"

"Potter! Detention at five'o o'clock, my office." She said in triumph. "I guarantee this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees the safety of the students from any Dark wizards. If someone is spreading these fibs, I would like to know and help. Now please, go back to reading."

Professor Umbridge sat down at her desk while Harry walked straight into the isle between the desks. Everyone was now staring at Harry. Most of the class were too scared to say something to him, in fear that he would blow at them too. While a few looked at him in amazement at how Harry was not taking any crap from this new professor.

"Harry, stop it. You're going to make it worse," Hermione whispered and attempted to grab his sleeve. Harry shook her off and ignored her warning.

"So you're saying that Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord?" Harry said in a soft shaking voice.

There was a sharp inhale from everyone in the class. Harry had been closed off on what happened during the third task and still hadn't spoken a word about it too either Herminone and Ron. The two of them knew that Harry was already having a really rough day, but this was a whole nother level. Both of them wondered how Harry was going to last the year.

"What happened to Cedric Diggory was an unfortunate accident." she said coldly.

"It was a murder. Peter Pettigrew killed him and I dueled with Voldemort. And you know it." Harry said. He could feel the tears building up at the thought of Cedric's death.

Harry thought for a second that Professor Umbridge was going to scream at him. She instead spoke in the softest, girly voice possible, "Mr. Potter, please come here."

Harry could care less what happened now. He was boiling over and could hardly keep the remaining anger back. He watched her take out a piece of pink parchment and started to write something. She hunched over so Harry could not see what she was writing. Once she was done, she rolled up the parchment and with her wand taped it. It sealed itself so that Harry could not read what it said.

"Mr. Potter, please take this to Professor McGonagall." she said, holding the parchment out to him.

Harry roughly grabbed it out of her hand and swiftly strode out of the classroom. He ran down the corridors and when he was far enough away, he muffled a scream with the back of his hand. Harry bit the back of his hand to try and muffle it even further. He could feel the tears burning the backs of his eyes and bit down harder. There was no way he was going to let Professor Umbridge get to him. Cedric had been murdered right in front of him by Peter Pettigrew. Who then gave Voldemort a physical form.

With those thoughts, the memories of the event started to blacken his vision of his surroundings. He stumbled back in fear when he saw Voldemort. He tripped and fell down. Looking over to see what made him fall almost caused him to scream. It was Cedric's body, but it was mutilated. It was half decayed and was falling apart. It started to move towards him and Harry found that he could no longer move back any further. He was trapped. Curling up onto himself, he burrowed his face as deep as it would go in his arms. All he could do now was whimper and wait for his impending death.

Something touched his back. Harry flinched away from it. The thing persisted and that was when Harry noticed it was not cold like Voldemort's body or the death like the feel of Cedric's corpse. The thing was warm like a human. A quiet voice had begun to break through Harry's panic. He had no idea what it was saying, but Voldemort and Cedric had begun to fade from his vision.

The person, whoever it was, wrapped their arms around Harry. Encasing him in comforting warmth, keeping him safe from his memories. He leaned into the embrace and listened to the voice speaking to him. Soon, when Harry could no longer see Voldemort and Cedric, he looked up to see why was hugging him.

"Harry, have you calmed down?"

It was Professor McGonagall. She was on the ground, next to him, embracing his small curled up from.

"Y-yeah, I-I-th-th-think so." Harry said just above a whisper. His voice was still shaky from crying.

"Come to my office." she said slowly standing up.

Harry got up on shaky legs and followed her. Wiping his face from all the mucus and tears, they made their way to the office.

The entire way, Professor McGonagall kept looking over and checking on Harry. She knew that Harry has some form of anxiety or PTSD from all the things he had been through, but she had never, not even once, seen him like that. Curled up away from danger only he could see. Crying and hoping for someone to rescue him from the invisible danger.

Minerva had been wandering around the halls incase there were any students skipping or fooling around. She had not expected to see Harry Potter on the ground. She immediately knew something was wrong when she saw his shaking form. In all her experiences when dealing with Harry or his gang, he seemed strong and courageous, able to stand up against the wrong in the world, and being more brave than most adults. But here, she saw the real Harry Potter. A child who was under nourished for most of his life and abused and neglected by his only relatives, that had been forced upon a destiny he had been pressured into. This Harry Potter was not the one that was often in front of her, awaiting punishment for running around the school at night or searching for information on an adventure that Hermione, Ron, and him were going on.

Seeing Harry crying had struck something in her that she had not known existed. She had never felt such a strong emotion. Dismissing the emotion, she focused on getting them to her office before the class period ended and all the students would be rushing to get to the Great Hall for dinner.

When they reached the office, Minerva gestured for Harry to sit down in one of the cushioned chairs by a table. Harry looked down at his lap and saw the now crumpled note from Professor Umbridge. As Professor McGonagall sat down across from him, he gave her the note. She did not open it yet. She instead flicked her wand and a small tray of biscuits floated over.

"Harry, what on earth were you doing out of class?" she asked gently, though there was no room for excuses in her voice.

Harry kept his head down and mumbled something about the note and being sent to her office. Professor McGonagall sighed and opened the parchment to read it. Harry glanced up to see her eyes slowly narrow as each line was read.

"Please have a biscuit Harry while we speak." she said

Harry felt her gaze upon him. Telling him that he had no choice in whether he wanted one or not. He grabbed the smallest one and took a bite. Professor McGonagall seemed satisfied and continued.

"Harry, did you shout at Professor Umbridge?" she asked calmly.

"Yes." he mumbled

"Did you call her a liar, and said that You-Know-Who is back?"

This time Harry simply nodded.

"Harry," she said carefully. "What happened out in the hall, has it happened before?"

Harry hesitated. Yeah, it had happened before, but if he said 'yes' then she would be concerned. And a concerned teacher would then be always over his shoulder. Harry did not want that in any way, shape, or form. So, he lied.

"No, this is the first time."

"I want you to tell the truth, Harry," she said. "I am here to help you. It is my responsibility to care for the well being of the students in my house."

"I said no." Harry said again with more insistence.

Minerva did not believe him at all. Harry had been through much in his past years at Hogwarts. There was no way that that had been his first time experiencing something of the sort. But she also could tell that Harry was not ready to open up. He had begun to be a bit more closed off after his first year. Not completely shutting everyone out, just closed the doors a little bit each year.

"Harry," she said sternly. "I know you are lying to me, b-"

"I am not lying!" Harry said again. This time his voice was rising.

"'Please do not interrupt me when I am speaking." she said calmly.

Harry looked down at his lap again. Ashamed that he had allowed himself to get this worked up. It was only the first day of school and he had already had a nightmare, an anxiety attack, and a flashback.

"As I was saying, I know you are lying to me, but I will not push you into an uncomfortable zone." she continued. "Although I do expect you to find someone you can trust with these harmful things. If you find yourself struggling, you can always come and talk to me about it. Anything at all."

"Fine." Harry replied tartly.

"Harry, please use your common sense next time you begin to feel your anger rise up at Dolores. It should have cost you more than a detention and house points for yelling at someone connected to the Ministry. Think next time about who she is going to report to." Professor McGonagall added.

The bell run and Harry quickly stood up, ready to leave the office.

"Harry, before you go," she called to him just as he grabbed the door handle. "She wrote that you will be having detention with her for the next week in the evening. Starting tomorrow."

Harry clenched his hands on the handle. More time with the toad? Great. He swiftly made his way to the Great Hall for dinner. By this point he was starving, totally exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to be alone.

By the time he had made it, the word of his and Professor Umbridge's shouting match had reached nearly everyone. The word had traveled fast. Much faster than normal and while Harry was walking down to sit next to Ron and Hermione, he could hear the whispering.

Harry tried to eat, but the whispers slowly became louder and louder the more he focused on them. He felt even more exhausted with every bit he took. He could feel his eyes begin to droop and it was harder to focus. Ron and Hermione chatted. Ron complained about potions homework and Hermione was coming up with theories on the sorting hats song, ranting about how house elves should all be freed, and everything in between.

After around 30 minutes, Harry gave up trying to stay awake and eat. He told Hermione and Ron that he was going back to the dorms in which they quickly jumped up to join him.

"Oi, Harry." Ron called. "What homework do you want to start with? I figured I'd start with potions."

"I'm heading straight to bed." Harry said shortly.

Hermione looked over in surprise. Usually Ron and him would work together to get her to do their homework for them. While they both did not always do well on things, they still did their homework. She glanced over at Ron who seemed equally surprised.

"Harry, you okay?" Hermione asked.

"Oh yeah, totally." Harry said sarcastically. "I totally have been having a wonderful day. I just love it when Snape decided to dump my work then proceed to give me no marks for the assignment. I just love it when you and Ron go off at me over things I can't control. I love it even more when I get a detention even when what I am saying is right and I get sent out of class."

Harry was now near hysterics. He could feel the tears and laughter bubbling up. Ron had a look of surprise and froze. Hermione looked guilty and her head slowly went down.

"The best part is when I have to continue to put up with everyone's BULLSHIT WHILE DEALING WITH MY OWN ISSUES!" Harry was now shouting in their faces. He quickly turned around and nearly ran to the dorms.

Harry made it to the portrait and gave the password to the Fat Lady. He walked into the commons and raised his hands to his face. Combining his hair back with his fingers, it was then ne noticed he had been shaking. Harry walked on his shaky legs up to his room. Reaching his dresser, he changed into his night clothes and wrapped himself up in his blankets. His body could no longer stay awake and the warmth of the blankets eased him into sleep.


	9. Chapter 8 (Merlin)

A/N: I had chapter up to 7 prewritten, found and read both Kingkiller books in the 2 week span, and now look where I am. ;-;

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Merlin had thought over how he would do the first day of the term many times. He came up with an idea then scratched it multiple times over. He had heard that the last Professor of History of Magic put many students to sleep with a bland formula of a monotone voice, slow speaking, and going over very similar materials again and again. This caused most students to either sleep through the class or work on other homework. And that led to many students to either just pass or fail their O.W.L.s. In the end, he decided to see what the majority of the class remembered and have them take a test.

After the embarrassing ordeal of forgetting that it was the first of September and walking into the Great Hall late, Merlin attempted to navigate through the halls of the school. He got lost rather quickly and with the staircases changing every so often, he had no idea where he was. He eventually saw a group of students walk by. Noticing one of them was walking behind the bulk of the crowd he approached nervously. Was he really about to ask a student where his classroom was? Y e p.

"Um, hey. Do you know the way to the History of Magic classroom?" the Merlin asked awkwardly. He slumped slightly over to avoid less attention from the few students.

"Oh, yeah. I can, Professor…..," the student trailed off.

"Aldridge," he said. It was then Merlin realized who the student was. None other than Dumbledore's Golden boy himself, Harry Potter.

As Merlin followed Harry, he noticed a few things. One, Harry was far too skinny for a boy his age, two, he had fairly large eyebags, three, the famous scar on his forehead was red. It looked freshly healed, not at all like usual scar tissue.

Arriving at the classroom Merlin surprised himself by speaking to the boy.

"Harry," he said. "I know that you have been through a lot, but make sure you talk to someone about things."

"What?" Harry said confused. He looked around but Merlin was already in the room.

Merlin surveyed his new classroom and took note of the dull atmosphere. There was not much to look at, only shelves full of dusty books and a couple of desks. Getting to work, Merlin cleared out all the shelves of dust and books. The books were so full of dust that Merlin nearly decided to just scrap the entirety of the shelves. After some serious cleaning, Merlin had cleared out the shelves of their dust and placed the books in a pile.

Merlin had taken the liberty of briefly reading a few of the books only to find that they were seriously outdated and almost none of the information held true. So he decided to just take them all out and replace old books with his books. After some serious thought on which books were okay for his students to read, he took a take at the otherwise undecorated room.

Taking a good look around, he chose to set up some of his own trinkets from the places he's been to give the room some color. Old flags from multiple different countries and empires that no longer exist, stones and gems hidden in ancient cities, a spear from those civilizations deep within the amazon, Merlin had even managed to find the skull of a long decreased phoenix and placed it in an empty space in the book shelves. He hung up a few skeletons of magical creatures that he had studied to the ceiling. After taking a good look at what he had done, Merlin hung some Pendragon red curtains with gold trim.

Looking over his work Merlin heard a tapping sound on one window. He ignored it and started to move toward the room in the back of the classroom, but the tapping grew even more instant. Sighing, Merlin made his way to the windows as he attempted to look outside through his reflection. Merlin saw nothing. The tapping persisted. Merlin made his way back to the window and this time he saw two beady black eyes staring straight back at him.

Merlin fell back in surprise and remembered, he didn't carry Aluxo with him because he was in such a rush. Quickly opening the window to let the owl in, Aluxo tiredly flew into the much warmer castle and plopped down.

"Alu-" Merlin was cut short by the owl nipping his fingers angierly and turned its back. Deciding it was better to leave the bird alone to sleep, Merlin walked into the very dusty and old office.

The office was large enough to accommodate a small bed and dresser while simultaneously having room for personal items and enough space for a desk. It was already cleared for Professor Binns was teaching as a ghost for a very long time and had no need for the room.

Merlin ended up leaving his office rather plain looking and did place many of his belongings on the shelves other than his many books. They ranged from fiction to historical, muggle to magic, myths and legends to hard evidence and truth. His favorites were the ones about the history and interactions of people leading to the world they knew today.

After sorting out the rest of his belongings, he laid down on his bed completely exhausted from all the sorting and decorating he had done. The sun was by now up and he could hear the students making their way down to the Great Hall. Closing his eyes for a split second, he completely blacked out.

* * *

Merlin awoke to the sound of a bell sharply ringing and nearly fell out of his bed. He had unintentionally fallen asleep and his first class was now beginning.

Quickly using his magic to make copies of the test he had made a day prior, he gathered all his needed books and attempted to open the door. Losing the little balance he had, a large portion of papers and books came crashing down leaving him with the stare of his students. Moving to his hands and knees, he scrambled to pick up the mess he had just made. He noticed a couple of other students helping out making him feel even more embarrassed. After gathering up his things he stood up.

"Ah, thank you!" he called behind the wall of things he was carrying. "You may go back to your seats now!"

Walking down to the desk on the other side of the classroom was even more of a challenge than he had thought. Once placing the mass of papers and books he greeted the class with a simple, enthusiastic 'hello'. After receiving an unenthusiastic reply from the students he continued.

Hoping that he did not look as embarrassed as he felt, Merlin decided on trying to sound a bit more authoritative like.

"Um, I will be your new History of Magic Professor." He nearly cursed at himself for sounding like a pushover. "You will address me as Professor Aldrige and nothing else," he continued, sounding more like an overly strict clotpole than what he was intending for.

"I am sure you all know plenty about the Goblin War Professor Binns was so fond of teaching," he said with a sarcastic tone. Receiving positive feedback from the students he continued. "So, for today, I am going to give you a test," he ended in which the class groaned in response.

"This test will be over all of the things you should have coverderd in the past few years. This test is only going to me so I have an idea of what we need to go over and what you all need refreshers on. Tomorrow I would like for you to make sure you all have paper and quills ready to take notes with." he explained with a small smile from the groans of the students.

Merlin then passed out the test he had made. He had directly taken questions from the notes and curriculum that Binns had had, while also putting a few of his own in.

Every class went as following: Merlin introduced himself (it got easier as he got more practice with each class), explained what the purpose of the test was, what they were going to do the in the next class, him passing out the tests, students becoming completely confused giving up part way through, the bell ringing, and the next class flowing in.

As Merlin looked out the window and over the lake, the sun began to set. It was the end of his first day teaching at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Moving back to his office, he laid down on his bed, thinking about all that had happened in the past few months. Aluxo cooed and perched on the bed head frame. Merlin reached up to pet the owl and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

A/N:Aight, so this fic is probably going to be updated biweekly for a while until I get some free time.

Comments, criticism, and ideas are always welcome :)


	10. Chapter 9 (Harry)

A/N: So sorry about the lack of updating. I got kinda busy, but I will try next week. It hopefully won't happen, but spring break is nearing so I can get some writing done.

* * *

The day went as Harry expected. He woke up from a nightmare, getting hardly got any sleep, Ron and Hermione fought about S.P.E.W., classes poured even more homework on the three of them although Professor McGonagal was slightly more kind than others, but still had expectations, Harry nearly had 3 panic attacks, and now he was headed to his detention after getting yelled at Angelina for not being at the Quidditch Keeper tryouts.

The DADA office had changed much in the past years. First, Lockheart had it decorated with posters of himself and other narcissistic things. Second, Lupin filled the office with many Dark creatures and would see a new one almost every day. Lastly, when Moody had an imposter, it was filled with hundreds of instruments for detecting any wrongdoing and concealment. Now, it looked nothing like any of which Harry had seen. The office was draped in lace cloths and several vases filled with pastel pink flowers.

Taking a seat at the desk, Professor Umbridge looked up and greeted Harry in her disgustingly sweet tone.

"You will be writing some lines for me, Mr. Potter. Not with your own quill, the one on the table over there." she said as Harry began to get out his own quill and ink.

"You will write, I must not tell lies, for your attention seeking behavior."

Harry sat down with great care not to glare at her for the comment and noticed there was no ink. He was about to ask Professor Umbridge about it when she said, "You will not be needing ink."

Harry took one more glance at the quill. It was long, thin, black, and had a very sharp tip. His anxiety began to rise. Why was she giving him an odd looking quill? What was her plan?

A small cough came from Umbridge. She was sitting at her desk behind a stack of parchment.

"Is there an issue?" she asked.

"No," Harry answered, placing the quill on the parchment.

He wrote: I must not tell lies.

A sharp pain seared ran through his hand. The words were written in shiny, crimson ink. Harry looked at his hand.

There were the words. Sliced into the back of his hand. It quickly healed over, but it was slightly redder and just as soft as before.

He looked up.

Umbridge had a large, disgusting, toad-like smile on her face.

"Yes?" she asked

"Nothing," he mumbled. Looking back down at the red ink, he could only imagine what was to come within the next few detentions.

Harry wrote 'I must not tell lies' again and again. The pain grew stronger with every letter and with each time he wrote it, the same words were sliced into the back of his hand, healing over quickly.

Mindlessly, he continued writing in what seemed like hours after the sun had set. Not wanting to anger Umbridge any more than what he had done, he had not once asked if he was done. Until finally she called him up.

"Hand," she said calmly.

Harry reluctantly extended his sore hand. It was shaking, only a small amount, from the pain of having words cut into his skin and sore from writing for hours on end.

She took his hand into her fat, stubby fingers, and examined his hand. The back of Harry's hand was raw and red.

"Tut, tut, I guess the message has not sunk in quite yet, now has it? I guess you will have to come again tomorrow evening then? You may go," she said.

Harry grabbed his things as quickly as possible without seeming rude and forced himself to not run immediately away. As soon as he reached the end of the corridor he ran as quickly as he could away from her office.

When finally stopped, he noticed how deserted the halls were. Without thinking, he found a bench where he could hide under. He was panting hard and his chest was tight.

Harry could feel something watching him even as he was completely away from anyone's view. The eyes were evil, vicious things. He curled up even tighter and wrapped his arms around his legs, trying to get away from them. He didn't even realise that he was crying until a small whimper came out.

Burying his head into his arms, he attempted to get his anxiety under control, but remembering all the homework he had made it worse than what it had originally been. None of the long list of things were done. His essays, practicing spells, the dream thing for Divination, nothing.

After about another hour, he decided that he should get back to the dorms. Ron was probably waiting for him to get back.

Harry glanced at his raw right hand. There was a faint trace of the writing.

It could scar, he thought. How could he hide this from Ron and Hermione? The first few detentions would be easy to hide, but in the long run, they would eventually notice.

Putting the thought aside, he swiftly made his way to the Gryffindor dorms. When he arrived, Ron was passed out on his bed. He had small eyebags signifying that he had attempted to stay up waiting for him.

Harry glanced out the window. The sun was rising, yet he could not calm himself enough to try and get in at least a few hours of sleep in. Laying on his bed, he could still feel those eyes. Those eyes were unrelenting and forced him to stay still. Even when his body began to grow sore from the same position, he remained still. Hardly breathing, he kept still until he heard Ron shuffle around in his bed.

The sun was now shining brightly over the mountains. Harry took a deep breath and got out of bed. He dressed, but told Ron to go eat breakfast without him, despite the nagging pain in his stomach.

The eyes had relaxed enough so that Harry could concentrate on getting a few things done for his classes. Soon, it was time for their classes to begin and he made his way to the door or the dorm to begin another horrible, no good, very bad day.

* * *

A/N: Comments, criticism, and ideas are welcome. :)


	11. Chapter 10 (Harry)

A/N: Sooooooo, sorry for not updating for so long. I got extremely lazy with writing and pracitaly watched the entirety of Supernatural in 2 weeks around the time that the whole quarantine thing started……. I am still quite alive, just being a little bitch about writing and coming up with Supernatural fic ideas instead of completing something I have already started. Anyway….here is the new chapter. I will try to update a bit more….sorry agan. I got a new guinea pig named Milo though….he cute.. :3

* * *

"Ha, little shits. Trauma builds character."

~Armin's Grandfather, Slap on Titan

* * *

Harry made his way to Divination and unsurprisingly, Ron was already there waiting for him.

"How was detention with the toad of a professor?" Ron asked as soon as Harry sat down.

"Not the worst," Harry answered after a few seconds, "just lines."

"Not too bad then, huh," Ron replied.

"Nope," Harry said dismissively.

Turning his attention to Twearnley, he managed to avoid any questions on detention from Ron.

The rest of the day was just as bad as Harry predicted. With his hand constantly burning in pain from the lines, he had not practiced any of the spells for Transfiguration or had time to do any of his homework. Malfoy was a dick as always, rumours around Harry seeing/fighting Voldemort were spread, Snape was….Snape, homework was given, and Hermione had pestered him on how his detention went, insisting that he was lying. Which he was, of course, but how could he tell them that Umbridge was making him write in his own blood?

If the two of them ever found out, they would immediately take it to Dumbledore or a teacher they could trust. Harry's pride could not take anymore blows, not that he had much to begin with, but he was not willing to allow Umbridge to win.

After bidding Ron and Hermione goodnight, he managed to make his way to her office.

He couldn't move?

Why couldn't he move? Why was he frozen in front of the door?

He had to win against her. He had to. He had to prove that she was wrong, that he would not be broken by her.

But…..

The door seemingly grew in size.

Why was it so big?

Am I on the ground?

No, the door is just big.

Harry choked as his throat tightened.

Why can't I breathe?

If I don't go in now, I will be late.

I can't be late.

I cAn'T.

I hAvE tO wIn!

The door opened.

She was sitting at her desk behind a stack of papers.

With her wand in hand, she had an ugly smile on her face.

"Why don't you come in, Potter."

Harry pushed back every single one of his thoughts except one.

'Survive and win.'

"Please, have a seat and we shall begin," she spoke.

Harry could not meet her eyes. His own were heavy with the need for sleep and body ached with exhaustion. He had barley eaten these past few days and had already not been eating at the Dursleys.

Fighting anymore was no longer an option. He had to submit himself to writing lines.

Sitting down at the table was the same quil as before laying beside some parchment. It was just as long and black as the previous night and even more intimidating now that he knew what it was capable of.

With shaky hands, he picked up the quill. Glancing up at her face, she looked up and smiled directly at him. Harry had been in life or death situations, but….her face…..smiling at him before he submitted himself to more pain…...scared him the most.

Looking back down quickly, he placed the quill onto the parchment and began his lines.

'I must not tell lies' he wrote slowly.

'I must not tell lies'

Again he told himself.

'I must not tell lies'

Again.

'I must n-'

Pain began to flow through his to his pain receptors and signaled him to stop. Stop whatever was causing his body pain.

Harry could not bear to look at his hand. He could not look at the writing on it. So, he kept his eyes on the parchment.

His blood glistened in the room.

Crimson.

He continued where he left off.

'-ot tell lies'

Again.

'I must not tell lies'

Oh, there was the pain again.

Again.

And.

Again.

Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again. And. Again …………. And ………..again ………….and…………….again ………. again………………………

Ị̶̦̯̞̝̳̬͌̇̍̋̀̓́͛̕̚͝T̷̨̧̢̧̞̝͖͎͓̞͔̒̋̅ ̵̗̦̼̤̆̔̅͋̀͜͠H̴̩̲̻̐̏̕U̷̧̞̖̲͉̞͖̫̔͌R̵̙͔̓͂͛̌͒̇͌̎̍͐̅T̶̨̥̻͓̬͓͉͇̗͌Ş̸͚̜̣͎͈͍̠̥̬̄͊͛

It was late at night before she spoke again.

"I think that that is enough for tonight. You may go back to your dorm room."

Harry stopped. paced the quill beside the parchment that had his now brown blood, grabbed his things, and walked out without another word.

He mindlessly roamed through the halls of the massive school until voices penetrated his mindless state. Quickly, he darted down the hall until he could no longer hear them.

Eventually, he noticed something damp on the back of his hand. Not thinking, he looked down.

Engraved into his hand was the words 'I must not tell lies'.

It was deep.

The wound was bleeding.

"It's going to scar," he spoke out loud. Startling himself by the helpless tone in his voice.

He had nothing to treat the wound with. If he went to the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey would be suspicious of the cause of his wounds and take it up with Dumbledore.

Harry could not allow that. He was strong. He had killed one of his own Professors at age 11. He faced a monstrous snake that could kill someone with just meeting their eye when he was 12. He learned how to conjure a patronus and fight dementors the next year. He partok in an horrifying event that was to prove who had the best students the previous year. He could take whatever she dished out for him and fight back with even more force.

If Harry didn't toughen up now, then he would be unable to to continue. He would be an anxious, malnourished, depressed, and PTSD ridden 15 year old. He had to push down all those bad feelings and emotions to move on.

Fuck mental health and self care. He is Harry freakin Potter and he would kick whatever came at him right in the ass. Even when he just wanted to live a normal muggle life with a loving family and didn't have to face death in nearly every year of his schooling.

Safe my ass. How could people call this fucking death trap safe? How could they trust Dumbledore who had willingly left the school and forced an 11 year old kid who was abused at home to kill someone?

Taking off his bright gold and red Gryffendor tie, he wrapped it up and put plenty of pressure onto it to help stop the bleeding. How he would come up with an excuse for the bandage was an issue for later. Right now all he cared about was getting back to the dorms for an uneasy, painful, rest.

A/N: Uhhhhh so this week is the last week of school for me and I have a stupid thing to write for english.. He said he would be laid back about grading it so i hope i can get a decent grade and bring my B up to an A-...uhhh so ima have fun stressing and procrastinating.

ALSO, real quick. Updates might take a while. I will soon have to type and stuff on my phone soon...sooo uh….my spelling on the phone is far worse than anything…….. So the chapters will take a while to write. I thank all of yall keeping up with this mess of a fic. XD


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